Move from Afraid of Yourself
Two years ago when I had graduated from high school, I had felt like I was not able to accept my condition. I felt like I was a crazy, afraid to get out of the house. because I feel afraid of myself, when I want to do something to change myself. like a whisper of a voice that does not know where it came from, "do not do it ..., then you will feel the slump again for the second time". then I cried out in fear, and thought not to continue my intention to change myself.
I'm so afraid to interact with everyone, whether it's someone I know or a new person I've never met. Until me out of elementary school , I never dare to uphold my head while walking. I always bow my head, and when other people or teachers are talking to me. I never want to see his eyes, but I understand what he told to me. day after day I passed, I kept locking myself in my room alone. not eating and drinking, torturing myself. till my parents are confuse, restless, and almost crying.
But one day, my mom and dad said to me "do not you be drowned by your scar, because in the after this... takes effect god will never choose his servant which is beautiful or not, do not always think of the world, think how you will in the after this... takes effect. something that is far worse than you, physically disabled and mentally retarded .. be grateful to you now ... "words that I have never forgotten all my life, yes. . . . why am I just thinking about the world? I thought.
When I live in this world will be not long, but I will be eternal and everlasting later in the after this... takes effect. there and on that day I dare to rise from my depression. and I'm never afraid of myself anymore, because "I have my way to more confident with myself". So. . . look for your own way, be able to rise from your downturn guys. . . and remember, life in the world is impermanent. so always remember your god, because we are created by him. nothing else and no, yes. . . to worship him, and always be grateful to him.
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